The moment after moment experience of being in the Pacific Northwest 20+ months into a world wide pandemic that has caused pain and harm in so many, terribly creative ways, has offered me copious opportunity to reflect on ahimsa, non-violence. 

I am not easily settled in my understanding of ahimsa. But, for 20+ months I’ve been frequently reminded that literal non-harm simply is not on the menu of options I have.

Since a pure interpretation of non-harming any living thing is not an option available to me, I’ve sat in conversation and reflection about how to move forward honoring a commitment to ahimsa in an environment that is full of harm while also knowing that it’s not in alignment for me to assume why others are making the choices I may disagree with. For the time being I rest into two parallel and supportive activities: 

– First, to be honestly present with the varieties of harm that live in this moment
 
– Second, to try to offer everyone the power of autonomy and consent, when 100% safety simply isn’t available. 

Being present with this moment is hard. Paraphrasing one of my dearest teacher-friends, “So many of us want to act like this isn’t happening. For some that looks like denying that covid exists (as my uncle-in-law did as he was dying of coronavirus complications) or it can look like vaccinated people going to raves in NYC. Most mornings it is all I can do is say, ‘This is happening.’” 

My practice of being honestly present with this moment has included:
– Being present with dear friends who are immunocompromised who have family members who refuse to get vaccinated. I witness their feeling of abandonment and their fear for their health. I share their feelings. 

– Conversations with the small minority of unvaccinated people in my community that have had negative experiences with vaccines. They’ve shared the (literal) nightmares that they’ve had about being vaccinated. They’ve recounted the pain of feeling shunned, isolated and demonized. There is heartbreak and pain as I witness their fear after their earlier vaccination experiences, their fear of economic consequences, and their fear of being excluded from communities they believed they belonged to. 

– Being present with new teachers who will not take on classes at the studio because we don’t have a vaccine requirement. I feel the loss to our student community that their teachings aren’t available at TPY. 

– Although racial disparities among the vaccinated have narrowed (today 50.7% of Latina/o/x adults, 54.4% of Black adults and 67.3% white adults in Oregon are vaccinated), I continue to encounter local Black Portlanders who do not want to be vaccinated.  I’ve heard from some Black folks who are wary of the historical discrimination their ancestors received from American medicine and distrustful of drug companies (perspectives I can empathize with). It is not my place to judge their reasoning and I feel strongly that they should have access to yoga if they want it. 

– How do we encounter non-violence on a scope the size of the world? I know vaccination is the best tool we have to decrease the likelihood of hospitalization on an individual and a community scale. I also know that regardless of vaccination covid-19 will almost certainly become an endemic disease we deal with for the foreseeable future.  How do I integrate both of these data points into actions of non-violence where vaccine mandates are concerned. I witness my confusion.  

– The founding owner of TPY had an extreme vaccine reaction and has spent the last 6 months recovering from it. She won’t be able to get vaccinated again or a booster. I witness the conflict and isolation for her, an immunocompromised person who won’t be able to get a booster, as we continue to consider policies that could eventually exclude her.

– As the popularity of vaccine mandates rises, I consider whether I’m harming the studio and the teachers financially by not having a vaccine mandate. 

– The incapacitating fear present in the majority of public conversations about vaccination and public spaces staggers me. Many of us find ourselves caught in trauma patterns after the death and isolation we’ve witnessed. It’s so hard to be present with difference and discomfort in that pattern (especially online). I feel fear and grief as I witness the way that trauma pattern (a tool in it’s own right!) encourages the trend towards an us/them mentality. Vaccination sometimes seems to be an easy topic through which to funnel the fear of this moment. That is not to say that every fear expressed is unfounded or unfair! But fear and judgement responses seem to keep conversation and public dialogue away from recognition of common humanity. I’ve worried that a vaccine requirement at a small business like ours could contribute to this state of affairs. I wander about the relationships lost rather than changed by the conflict of this time. 

These are some of the facets I witness as I ask myself to be present with the truth of this moment and my responsibilities given that truth. I have to steer myself away from obsessing about all the stories, all the variations on understanding this moment, that makes the landscape so complex. 

From the activity of observing the complex truths that inhabit this moment, I direct myself to the question, “How I can create a space where consent and the power of autonomy are offered?”

Last month, I became worried that I was making a decision that was out of line with the perspective of the teachers. So, I asked the teachers to participate in a survey to determine if we should require vaccination in order to be in the studio while there is a mask mandate. 70% of the staff preferred to keep our policy as is (not requiring proof of vaccination while all are masked). The folks who voted in that majority noted some of their reasons for their decision: the high vaccination rate in Multnomah county, the layer of protection that masking offers and concerns that mandates that exclude some people are not helpful in this moment when connection, healing and empathy are so needed. 

For the teachers who would prefer a vaccine mandate I have reinforced my long-time position: Though I have to make studio wide protocols, if you are not in alignment with those protocols, let’s keep your classes online! You get to decide if you consent to participating in the in studio policies. 

The same is true for you, dear student. You get to decide. We miss you, we’d love to be included in your journey of self-healing practice. And, we genuinely celebrate your right to make decisions about what is and is not available in your zone of tolerance today. 

So, to conclude, a summation of our policies as of November 2021:
– In accordance with state executive order, masks are required in studio until at least February 8, 2022.
– We are not requiring folks to be vaccinated in order to practice in studio.
 – Though the overwhelming majority of our staff is vaccinated (95% of in studio staff), we are not requiring vaccination. Unvaccinated staff members are required to take weekly covid tests. 
– Teachers offering workshops, series and retreats are invited to require vaccination if they choose. (So read those descriptions!)
– We have also updated the HVAC systems in both studios with both UV viral filtration and to constantly cycle in outdoor air. 

I understand that others have reflected on ahimsa and have come to the opposite conclusion. I kind of love that, as I love and respect the individuals in my life who disagree with me about this decision to not require vaccination or those who disagree about the importance of getting vaccinated…I love and respect them while we swim in the discomfort of disagreeing while also wishing to stay in relationship. We’re uncomfortable and we’re trying.

I recognize that no policy I create can support everyone. But, I am genuinely sorry if you are one of the people who feels unsupported by my decision making process. I hope you find a resource that can support your practice of movement, healing and your internal/external practice of ahimsa. 

Beth